It is the day before Halloween. You probably knew that though, unless you are reading this after today then -
I am writing this And it is the day before Halloween.
I always loved Halloween but I never liked people knocking on my door and I never liked knocking on other peoples doors. I loved dressing up and going to parties, and playing games (I need to make sure I bob for apples this year!)
The dressing up bit was the best, when you are little you can run around giggling and shouting thinking how much fun it is, now I run around roaring and thinking how cool I feel.
But, like all things, Halloween has changed... a lot. We have become the American form of Halloween. Which isn't all bad, the spirit of it has grown beyond belief.
When I was little I remember going out and singing at doors to get either sweets or money and I am sure it involved a guy for bonfire night too. Now you get shit costumed kids saying trick or treat... fuck that... Trick! now what? They want CANDY, not sweets. Well I got sweets for those who earn it, be it through brilliant costumes or some kind of song or something.
I do have one trick though, its very Halloween themed, I swing a large gothic axe at their arms and as if by magic they don't fall off..... I am not very good at it.
As for the adult part of Halloween. MY GOD, I love getting dressed up, zombies are the best option. They are gruesome, scary and travel in packs, a herd of shambling, grunting, rotting, flesh eating monsters. Although you can do some other very cool ones, proper Vampires, Werewolves etc, the classics never go wrong. And Adult Halloween parties (not the kind you probably get when you google search those words, unless thats what you are in to) You can get dressed up and get drunk, then you really think you are what you came dressed as. But you go the whole hog to be a frightening costume, a real spirit of the dead. Do you think that some of the crap costumes are ACTUAL monsters coming to play with us? They just wear crapper costumes so we don't talk to them?
But what do the women wear? Hmmmm lets search for female Halloween costume... right Vampire for the Men... Sexy female Vampire for the girls. Ghost for the men... Sexy Skimpy Ghost for the girls. Werewolf for the Men... Sexy dog/animal girl for the ladies. A cool scary costume for the Men... Slut Slut Sluttison for the girls.
Now, I do know a lot of women who make a fuckin brilliant effort for costumes but I have seen some tarty tart crap in my experience. Yes, some women who are the right shape will look very attractive but its the mind set that comes with it, the do eyed, ditzy, everybody-look-at-me, mutha fuckin bimbo-ness that radiates from them and hangs like a floating snail-trail wherever they shuffle.
I work in a bar and these kinds of people dress like that even when it isn't Halloween, the short skirts, high-heels tottering around like the floor is covered in crabs, they never buy there own drinks and travel in small packs of testosterone hungry man sponges. Yup, that's how I think of them.
Anyway, it isn't just the women, you get guys doing it too. I saw a costume that was a giant condom packet, that was all it was. It said something like XXXXL condom. I look at that and I think " there is something a lot like a penis in his pants, only it's much much smaller." All those people, the ones who wear t-shirts of sexy girls kissing or semi clad ladies who look like they have been frozen solid while being electrocuted (you know the ones in the awkward poses with very blank or confused looks on their faces with their hair all messy) or have slogans like "King of Sex" or "I have the Biggest Penis in the World" where what they actually mean is " I am a complete Knob" or in more detail " I am a single conciousness being who is completely blind to others and the workings of this world. I am one of those people who has no understandings of social image in person or in respect to others and through my actions, along with many others, the world is rather quickly becoming a more stupid place than it already was." or TWAT for short. Those people are the ones who wear Halloween costumes that usually piss me off.
Back to the Zombies, they have unfortunately become the hipsters of the monster world. Everyone wants be a zombie because its cool, everyone wants a zombie apocalypse because its cool.
I find zombies cool, but a kind of feel that all this new age zombieness has missed the point, its like film remakes - wow, they look good but you have kind of missed the point.
Evil Dead - and all round sigh please 1.. 2.. 3...*sigh*
I have now seen the trailer for the remake of The Evil Dead, it looks stunning! I am always stunned at the amount of shiny CG you can get into a film, I love that the biggest reactions you get from seeing most films now is "Wow, It looked so real!" What happened during the film to make you think, that's fake but it looked so real? We all do it, in our heads we know its fake but we still give our own little victory when we think, it looked like it was real. The original Evil Dead looked real because it was, they were props and puppets and real locations and from what I heard real fear and blood at some points. That is what made that film great and that is why it became a cult movie. I am sure the new one will do well but I don't see why they didn't just call it Generic Teens Alone In The Forest With Monsters. If you are going to remake something, you have to capture the feeling of the original too, I doubt they will be able to make 2 and 3 after seeing just the trailer, It doesn't have the look of it. The only things I can see going for it will be people getting it mixed up with Evil Dead 2 and expect to see Ash (the lord of deadites) with his chainsaw hand and Boomstick because in the trailer you see a girl shop her hand off with a electric carving knife or because The first Evil Dead film has that ever popular scene with the tree... that tree... what a git. I want to see it, but I very highly doubt I will enjoy it.
Someone's in my fruit cellar, someone with a fresh soul. DEAD BY DAWN! DEAD BY DAWN!
Happy Halloween.
Bobbing for apples is great and all that but if you come to the party with an amazing face of make up and all the cool trimmings, its gonna come off when you come up with an apple in your mouth. I always just shoved my head all the way to the bottom of the bowl, is that allowed? Soaked, but I had an apple, I found wet apples tasted better.
I might just wear vampire fangs all day tomorrow and try to hide them so people think I am an actual vampire.
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