In the Land of the Blind...

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Why would the fact that he has one eye make him the king of the land of the blind? Blind people still have eyes but they can't see, this would mean that their king is a blind man with only one eye whereas the rest of the blind people still have two.
Unless they mean that "in the land of the blind the one eyed man - who can see, is king" but that may as well say "in the land of the blind the person who can see is king."
Can he actually see? That means he shouldn't be in the land of the blind, he should be in the land of the people-who-can-see or even the land of the one-eyed-people or land of the partially-sighted. Did he sneak in and take over? Or was he voted for. Maybe it was pure chance, they all voted and it just so happened that the blind man they elected only had one eye. Would it be through vote that they chose a king or would it be royal decent? Is blindness hereditary? If so maybe the royal blood line has its sight back, come to think of it - if there were people living there in families surely as the population grows people are born with their sight. Unless the land is cursed and everyone is born blind except the royal family who can see but only have one eye. That would make it more of a statement of fact -
"Hey Ted, did you know that In the land of the Blind, the One Eyed man is King?"
Possibly when everyone is born they are taken to whatever land they belong - the blind, the deaf etc. each one is perfectly tailored for each person the land of the blind is soft and everything is organised be what it feels like and everything tells you what it is. The land of the deaf has writing on everything.
THAT'S IT!! - the blind people need to be watched over because they can't see where they are so to keep an eye on them there are cameras everywhere - the one eyed man is a camera! Each camera has a speaker in and if there is a problem the person watching will call out to the blind person to help them. BOOM! Dissected and solved.
The whole world has been split up into different lands, each with its own very specific purpose. The rulers of the world keep a check on each person and assign them to whichever land is best for them.

Well, not really. That's just some fantasy world I made up to go with the saying.
I guess its just another flawed saying we still use. The meanings I found behind it are -

1. Among others with a disadvantage or disabilty, the one with the mildest disadvantage or disability is regarded as the greatest
2. Even someone without much talent or ability is considered special by those with no talent or ability at all

Which still doesn't make sense, having one eye is still a far far greater advantage than being blind. Bad comparison.

I still like the idea of the world with different lands for different people... could make an interesting story. It sure looks it in my head.

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Thwipster

Hipsters......
Fuckin Hipsters.......
Even hipsters don't want to be called hipsters because its to much of a label but they do want to be recognised as hipsters because its whats-cool but that makes them not want to be known as hipsters because everyone else is being a hipster but their hipster style is original to them but so is everyone else's bla bla fuckin bla.

Those fuckin glasses, sweet Jesus, those horrid fucking glasses. Do you need them? Christ no! Please, please leave them alone. I am going to start wearing hearing aids that don't actually work and fake prosthetics too. Arg, your hair looks stupid, your clothes look stupid, you sound stupid, you are stupid.

The reason I mentioned them lot ^ is because I was just looking on the usual comedy picture sites tickld, failblog, etc, for a good laugh and I noticed they have now moved beyond just comical pictures and stuff. Like most things in this world it has become a competition, why was the picture created? Comical? Clever? Meaningful? No, it was made so your picture would appear on the "HOT" page or have the most likes so that you could get the most followers and you would be, in your own little world, in your corner of the internet, a mini celebrity. Your wit and comedy, depth and understanding would be admired by all those pseudonyms and falsities from anywhere else, as we all hope to be noticed in the ever-churning, ever-changing race of life. All the trends change so fast it is actually impossible to keep up with them if you are not glued to the internet 24/7.
Everyone has to prove that they are as cool as they say they are by posting photos, showing evidence of funny texts they sent, witty retorts on facebook. Have to show how much of a NERD or GEEK they are.AND that they all did it before everyone else and that it was cool.

Well... I am here to say that I DID IT BEFORE IT WAS COOL, I PLAYED IT BEFORE IT WAS COOL, I WAS WITTY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.
But it wasn't before it was cool, it was before it was COOL. When I did all these things they were cool and fun and I fuckin enjoyed them. I didn't have to boast and parade it around in front of everyone, I did it because it was who I was. I don't have to have a picture of something whats-now-called Retro, or some paragraph about old tv shows to remind me that "GAR SHUCKS, AH HAD A GUD CHALDHUD" I use my memory, I talk to my friends and we look back and we laugh, hahaha - like that.

ONLINE GAMES! I don't want to sit miles away from my friends and play games, I want to sit together and actually converse and communicate and touch them if I really need to.

I don't look for recognition in what I do but I appreciate it when I get it. I do nice things because I want to, I do what I want to do because I bloody want to do them.
But should I? Do I want to be recognised? Do we all just politely step back because we don't we make a fuss? Those people with pointy elbows and bad manners get everything before us, our country is run by bullies and we stand in the queue's waiting to be told off.

We should stand up and be heard!... well,... maybe when its my turn I will... here we go... I JUST WANTE.... oh sorry, no, no you can go first... yes you were behind me in the queue but I am not in a rush....right... I JUST WANTED TO....what? that last guy was given everything he wished for and all he opposed was righted and I get?.....nothing? there's nothing left? ok....I will just go and join another queue.....hmm? They have all stopped? why? ...Oh the last guy was greedy and rude and took everything from everyone and he is now in charge... I'll just go sit in the corner.

But I still feel good about myself, I know I am a good person and I don't ask to be commended on what I do, I don't even mind if nobody even reads these, its a bit like a online pensieve. Blloooop bloooop. I hope they make that noise when they are added to.
Thats all for now,

Be nice for the sake of it. And be you for the sake of it.
I don't even read back over these things, it probably doesn't even make sense..... ah shit.

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RALPH! It's not coming back!

Here is Ralph, in case you missed him last time.
















I doubt his name really is Ralph but I still laughed, RRRRRalph!

Djoo know what else isn't going to be coming back? Our planet.
I think we are getting to the point of complete oblivion - he looked at me funny, he called me names, he hit my sister, she threw a stone at me, he broke my bike, she broke my fingers, she stabbed my leg, he cut my leg off, he killed my dog, he killed my sister, he killed my family, she burned my house, he blew up my street, he invaded my town, she wants my land, he held my people hostage, she killed everyone in my city, he sent in tanks, she sent in jets, he fired guns, he fired cannons, she fired missiles, he fired missiles, he fired nukes, she fired nukes.... nobody else did anything ever because everyone is now dead. Shall we rebuild? No... lets not, it's all melted anyway.

No Dinosaurs, you had your chance.
I wonder if the Dinosaurs came back, would they use our dead bodies for fuel? I hope so.

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Here's Maggie Thatcher, throw 'er up and catch 'er.

*stretch*....*yawn*......

!_!

!!! April!? Its bloody April.... why didn't any of you wake me up!? I haven't been conscious since November when I took out that cocking great meteor!
I've missed Christmas.... and New Year and April Fools Day and all those other ones.

Nah, just kidding (obviously). Imaging sleeping past Christmas, that would put a dampener on your next year.... unless you are in a coma, if you are I am sorry, I'm not ridiculing you and it probably isn't your fault, I am just pondering what it would be like to miss big major events of a year as well as your friends and family ... and... and... you know... I am making it worse aren't I? sorry. Well you cant really know I said that since you actually are unconscious, I was just joking and speculating. Get well soon.

One of the reasons I took so long to write more stuff is finding the time, after I did the show that involved the nude calendar (the one I mentioned in I Didn't Bob, also I have learned to spell calendar properly now, kept filling it with A's and no E) I was a whacking great Cyclops, now I have just finished being a cocky hunter who gets killed by a monster. I don't even remember what I am doing next. But, yeah, no time.
Another reason was after that little story about David Jones (only after I wrote it did I realise I had named ham after Davy Jones the ferrier/ferryer/ferreyerer of dead souls at sea) I realised it had been a while since I wrote anything and began to wonder if anyone thought the story was a front for the way I am feeling and that I actually fought off a massive metaphorical meteorite but then died in the process... I didn't, I couldn't write it after I died and probably couldn't have predicted such an event.
Then I thought, since I didn't have the time to write, I would leave it and see if anyone questions my whereabouts... they didn't, clearly. Well done, nain of yee believe what you read that is blatantly fictitious. Then a few people asked me to write some more, so I am.
But...

 butt indeed, It did lead me onto the thinking behind the interpretation of things. Its the whole (echoey voice moment) "WE PROJECT OUR OWN MEANING AN UNDERSTANDING ONTO EVERYTHING WE SEE, FROM THE SIMPLEST THING TO THE THE MOST INTRICATE AND COMPLEX HAPPENING"
We are all different and from such, we experience everything different. I am not saying that if you look at an apple you see yourself as an apple (well you might), what it means is that when you look at an apple you know everything about it from your own personal experience, you know if it looks wrong, you know how it should feel, smell and taste and you probably don't think about it at the time but you know where it came from, how it was created, how it died and how it is about to be destroyed...*munch*munch*munch*. If you had no experience of an apple you would look to the majority of .. I think Information is the word I want to use.. for guidance on it before you try it.
This is clear in everything we do from eating food to reading a book to watching a film, fighting fights, believing hype, following news, supporting.. well anything and choosing sides even if you are wrong.
Most of the time we all do what we are told and believe what we are told - BAM, Jade Goody was a racist monster who everyone hated and mocked like hell since she first appeared on the big buttbags brother, why? because that's what we were told, that is all we were ever shown of her. The people who new her wouldn't think that.... she died... we have lost some one special, there is a new angel in heaven, why? because we were fuckin told that,  our country abused her, ridiculed her all the way to the grave then told you how much they loved her. *RASPBERRY*
 - Michael Jackson - ridiculed, mocked... dead... musical genius, legend, loved him. Because you were told so.
 - Jimmy Saville - Loved, respected, knighted ... dead... he was Satan himself. Because you were told so.
Sorry, that is not interpretation, I got off the point, those examples are media and the way our country is. Yes our experience is part of it but I grew up to believe what I thought were trusted sources, but they are lies, cruel, cruel lies and the government - lies more cruel lies.

The point I was aiming towards before that was that when we read stories everyone will experience it differently. With the spinners we all feel like we are an individual in a world of people who are nothing like us... in truth it is pretty close but maybe not to the extent of whizzing, spinning and massive rocks.
The real truth is that no one in the whole planet can know you as well as you know yourself, you keep your own secrets, put up your own barriers and put on different faces depending on who you are talking to. Life is a performance.

And also Margaret Thatcher has died, this does not effect me whatsoever. Yes people were fucked over by her a long time ago but as many people said, she is still a human being with a family. I heard she was suffering for a while and it would seem that her body has now found peace....
But hey, lets jump on the band wagon, lets party, lets forget all our other worries and celebrate something that has had no actual impact on the way things are now or will ever be in the future, lets throw money away either for her or against her you are spending money on this moment. this is what our government loves a whoppping great distraction, no body cares about all the shit going down now because this is the news at the minute and when this dies down we will cover it over with another big problem, a protest or something. the banks are still running our country by taking our money then being saved by the government... using our money...
"wait for it guys, just wait, there will be another distractions soon, probably celebrity related"
"sir, its not happening"
"shit... declare that someone is a pedo, the uk hates pedos so they will get angry at that for a while and we can get more money"

she wasn't Voldemort, nothing has changed now she has died, nothing she did earlier in her life has undone itself with her passing. All that has happened is that I and many others have realised or should have realised what a fucking cruel, greedy and down right disgusting country we live in.
I never knew her, never understood what she did, didn't know what she was like and I pass on no condolences to anyone nor bad words towards her because this was a moment that had nothing to do with me like some many other that we get our noses poked into.

I hate preachy preachy stuff like this, bugger. I like to keep it light... wait, I will be back in a moment....
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Haha

Also, you should read The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, its really really good.

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